Europe

“With roaring guitars, punk drums, blasting brass, slapping bass and pumping accordion, the POLKAHOLIX drag old Auntie Polka under a rock and give her a good seeing-to. She emerges shortly afterwards in euphoric shock and dances as if to save her life. Hörspiegel
With this shocking (but metaphoric) deed, the German press announced the return of the legendary Berlin polka-band the Polkaholix. Recorded in the similarly-legendary Hansa Studio in Berlin (one-time temporary home to David Bowie, U2, Iggy Pop and those celebrated rock n roll in-laws Depeche Mode), they follow in their own footsteps, having spookily recorded their first album in the same place. The Great Polka Swindle (2008) was lauded by press, public, their bank manager and the lady upstairs alike, and this was surely no coincidence. Do you like some eggs?

The early rumour of the band's grandiosity as a live act is confirmed by their recent stage appearances. In the last two years, they have entranced audiences across Europe. They have held audiences in Croatia spellbound; in Poland and Denmark, audiences refused to let the band stop playing until they (the band) were incapable of more. They have reduced a clamorous public in Austria to respectful silence. In Finland, they were feted by anarcho-syndicalist firework enthusiasts and they held an unruly Italian audience captive until a large ransom was paid (in used lire). An entire convention of philosophers at the bi-annual Wittgenstein Symposium in Lettland was baffled when they posed the unanswerable question Where's our money?

Don't believe us? Fed up of being bombarded by meaningless journalistic statistics and frankly made-up stories that wouldn't convince a retarded six year-old? Would you like some fish?

The World Music Charts Europe insisted that the band take pole position for weeks upon end, and Faeroe Islanders knitted commemorative headwear to mark the band's arrival for a performance celebrating the marriage of a local fisherman's pre-teen daughter to a speech therapist. We will refrain from detailing the consequences of their visits to the Azores and Madeira and merely state our position - we believe that events speak for themselves. We'll tell you what we like!

And now with the band's second album Polkaface set for release on May 7th, the world awaits their frantic but tireless performances. The collection addresses such matters of current concern as celebrity, staying at home, divorce, aliens, cooking, the horribleness of people, the advisability of mortgages, Johann Strauss and submarines. Would you like some sex?

To take a broad overview, Polkaface poses the question where do you stand (if indeed you can) on polka? Assume the position!

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